Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Happy New Year, Superheroes!

I've wanted to do this weird little post for a while now and today seems like the perfect day.

What are your Superhero powers? Let me tell you where I'm coming from with this - I've always imagined that if aliens or terrorists took over our country/state/city/planet, I'd need some sort of super skills to cope. I can't run very fast or jump very high, but there are things I can do that would come in handy. These are my superpowers.

I am like a camel in that I can hold my pee for long periods of time. I've trained myself to not get up at night. This wouldn't really help me if aliens were attacking, but at least I wouldn't have to pee myself to stay hidden.

I'm pretty good with the whole flirting/seduction thing. I'm sure I'm quite rusty as it's been years, but I could probably infiltrate the bad guys with my feminine wiles.

I can move a crowd quickly. If the aliens/terrorists were coming, this might be helpful to force people along to a safe place. When I was a flight attendant, we had to be able to clear a plane in 90 seconds. I can do that.

I can direct water very well. When I turn on the water in the tub in the morning, I grab handfuls and shoot the water at stray pieces of hair or soap to flush them down to the drain. I am pretty damn accurate. This would only help me if the aliens were the kind in that Mel Gibson movie that were averse to water. Still.

So, what are your superpowers? And, obviously, they don't have to be real superpowers. Just whatever skills you have that would keep you alive (or at least not pissing yourself) if the bad guys were coming after you.


Mike said...

I'm think that the combination of holding your pee and your ability to direct water could come in very handy at a key moment!

(No comment on where flirtation/seduction might fit in.)

Tracy said...

Mike, that's genius! I never thought of putting those two skills together, but I like it!

I forgot another power I have, but I think it's probably completely useless - I can remember song lyrics like nobody's business. We're sitting here listening to the Grease soundtrack which I owned back in junior high school. I remember every word, every inflection, it's crazy! If pi were a song, I'd probably be in the record books.

Mike said...

Pi seems like it could've been a Schoolhouse Rock song.

"Pi! It's a 3 and point and then a one four. A circle's area, that's what it's for."