So I'm in my cube today. It was a particularly busy day as yesterday was a Jewish holiday. My cube is situated right next to the waiting area and I've often had the pleasure of being able to smell some of my customers' various degrees of uncleanliness before they even sit down across the desk from me.
I'm helping a nice lady opening a CD (4% APY for 10 months - not so bad!) when this odor wafts in. After it got noticeably stronger, I commented, "That's an interesting smell." My customer agreed. "It kinda smells like turkey." Not quite.
I had seen a regular elderly customer shuffling off to the back of the branch where the loo is. It's not supposed to be used by customers, but some of them just go without asking.
My customer and I conclude that the smell is more akin to a dirty diaper. Oh, joy.
She and I both exit my cube at the conclusion of our business - she departs to the left, I to the right. As I'm approaching my manager's office, I see it. There's poop on the carpet. Two clumps. Just sitting there. I walk into Boss's office with my eyes damn near out of my head. "There's poop on the floor!" I exclaim. He just looked at me, tightlipped and nodded.
I stand by his window with my hand over my mouth. I am a poopophobe. I don't know if I can go back out there. I hear someone out in the lobby asking for help.
I come out of Boss's office and my customer who exited left has stepped in poop. Indoors. In a bank. Right outside my cube. Oh my fucking god.
Things after that are a gaggy blur. The customer made a mess in the bathroom and the branch manager cleaned everything up. He is the MVP for the rest of the year, unless something worse happens. I really don't think that's possible, though.