Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Forgivable Five

I had to wait for Toast at the gym today as I got done a bit before him. I decided to put in some time on the bike while reading one of the gym magazines. I was perusing all of the Health's and Fitnesses and GQ's when I saw a headline that intrigued me on Vanity Fair's October 2007 issue - Meet the Real Stephen Colbert. I would absolutely lurve to meet the real Stephen Colbert, so I picked it up and went over to the bike.

I turned to the page listed for the story and this is what greeted me...



Goddamn he's hawt! I'm not really one to drool as I've married the man of my dreams, but there are just some men...

Which brings me to my Question - what five famous people would you want listed in the contract that your significant other had to forgive you if, you know, you just happened to meet them and you just happened to hit it off and they just happened to express interest in some hot, shallow monkey sex?

Mine.

1. Stephen T. Colbert. There's something about a smart, funny man that I find incredibly sexy. The mystery aspect of him always being in character only adds to the intrigue. Yow.
2. Eddie Vedder. Physically very attractive, creative, confident and there's that spark of "just a little crazy" in his eyes. Ooh, baby.
3. Peyton. Big, strong and doofy. Yeah, I like 'em like that, too. Sometimes a woman likes to feel tiny and girly.
4. A-Rod. Big and strong, but not doofy. However, the combination of him being in touch with his feelings and the smoldering Latino thing would definitely get him around the bases, if you know what I mean. Wheee.
5. I used to have Bill Clinton in this spot, but he behaved so boorishly during the primaries that he's out. I'm not sure now. There's got to be some movie star. Think, think. Johnny Depp? Yes, but no. Kevin Spacey? No, but yes. I know! Although he ain't all that anymore, James Spader used to be the man that all women found hot. It was universal. "Sex, Lies and Videotape"? Anyone? Anyone? Way.

Sure, this is a meme! I'm tagging Toast, Fridge, all the Howards, Angelos, Wilde, the god who is kona, Mike, Tart and maurinsky. Not Chemist, because he's newly engaged and it might be too early to start busting out such things. And, obviously, if your significant other doesn't have this particular type of sense of humor, you get a pass.

26 comments:

michelline said...

This one is right up my alley (or I wish they were, anyway...)

1. Harrison Ford
2. Pierce Brosnan
3. Will Smith
4. Alan Rickman
5. Ted McGinley (Dr. Cox on Scrubs)

And why would you take Bill Clinton off for acting stupid? I'd sleep with him... Might have to worry if I'd catch something, but heck, it would probably be fun.

maurinsky said...

Mine's up

And Michelline, Dr. Cox is John C. McGinley. Ted McGinley is a noted show killer, who appeared on Happy Days, The Love Boat and Married With Children.

Chris Howard said...

Mine is up

Tracy, are you willing to share ARod with Madonna :).

Maurinsky, that was my fault on McGinley. I steered her wrong. But she'd probably like them both. Ted was pretty handsome, iirc.

Eric Wilde said...

Tough one. Give me a few days to figure it out. I really don't like movies much and haven't had a TV since college.

Mike said...

Mine 'zup.

fridge said...

express interest in some hot, shallow monkey sex?

Does it HAVE to be monkey sex? Because I'm just not that into flinging poo.

kate.d. said...

you know, i never thought about colbert in such a way, but then he did one episode (oscars? inauguration? i can't remember) in a tux, and all of a sudden i was like, "is it hot in here??" :)

maurinsky said...

you know, i never thought about colbert in such a way, but then he did one episode (oscars? inauguration? i can't remember) in a tux, and all of a sudden i was like, "is it hot in here??" :)


Have you ever seen the book Colbert wrote with Amy Sedaris and Paul Dinello, Wigfield? There is a picture of Colbert in there that I found completely riveting, and he's dressed as a woman. A stripper, actually, in fishnets. He was beautiful.

maurinsky said...

RE: James Spader

I remember him being on a TV show, and I was just salivating over him...I can't remember what the show was called, it was only on for 10 minutes, but there was a scene where he ripped off his t-shirt and dove into a pool that lives in technicolor in my memory. He was pretty tasty back then.

Toast said...

He was pretty tasty back then.

Now he has pillow face.

Chris Howard said...

Now he has pillow face.

Puffy?

Angelos said...

A-Rod? Not a doofus? If cleats came in ballet flat pink, he would wear them.

He has two speeds: trot and prance.

He is the least comfortable in his own skin than any athlete I have ever seen. Add to that the pathological need for outside validation (you love me, you really love me), and I can't see how you even consider him manly, forget manly enough to make your top 5.

Mr Furious said...

I'm with Angelos on A-Rod. I suppose, he's not heinous, but are you really into the purple lips? And every time he takes off the helmet, I'm all, "Shit! I forgot about the fucking bleach job!" Did Clemens leave a lockerful of that shit around?

Mr Furious said...

Yeah, I recall Michelline is into raiding the retirement village...

Mr Furious said...

"The Practice" James Spader looks like he ate Willam Shatner.

Angelos said...

michelline thought Cocoon was porn.

Eric Wilde said...

Sorry, I gotta sit this one out. I just don't know any celebrities. The only mildly hot woman I could think of by name was Sigourny Weaver; but, she definitely doesn't make the top 5. Give me flesh and blood over celluloid.

Anonymous said...

A-Rod is the least athletic-looking athlete I've ever seen: if I had to, I'd guess he was a post-op tranny bowler.

In no particular order:
1) Katherine Heigl
2) Sarah Silverman
3) Scarlett Johansson
4) Eva Green
5) Kate Winslet

Mr Furious said...

3) Scarlett Johansson
4) Eva Green
5) Kate Winslet

Anonymous might have just finished my list for me.

michelline said...

Yeah, I recall Michelline is into raiding the retirement village...

Even my daughter Tori finds Harrison Ford hot. I like mature, older men who have staying power...

michelline said...

And since when is Will Smith or McGinley ready for retirement? :)

Tracy said...

to maurinsky - Wigfield looks awesome. I'll definitely check it out.

to Angelos - I don't think A-Rod is uncomfortable in his own incredibly hot body. Did I mention that he has an incredibly hot body? He does. And he smolders.

to Mr. Furious - He can leave his helmet on. His lip color is odd. But have you seen his incredibly hot body?

to Wilde - You can pick anybody famous, doesn't have to be a movie or TV star. As long as others know who you're talking about. The fun is seeing what you think is hot.

And an Anonymous? Having comments is so exciting!

Eric Wilde said...

Oh, Oh! I thought of one. I didn't know what she looks like until I looked her up tonight. She's fine enough to pass. Its her attitude and voice that make her definitely in the top 5: Shirley Manson.

konagod said...

I used to find James Spader mildly interesting from an erotic standpoint, but he did too many asshole roles to hold my interest as a fuck buddy.

:lol:

But Johnny Depp.. yeah.

Tracy said...

But, kona, who are your five? I've been waiting for that since Saturday.

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